My Media Diary

It’s what kept my curtains closed each evening–even on the 2nd floor of a relatively safe suburban neighborhood, far from the Pacific Northwest the natural habitat of sasquatch and, most recently, teenage vampires.

On the eve of Leonard Nimoy’s return for another installment as the logical Mr. Spock in Star Trek Into Darkness, I am reminded of that cool, calculating, “It’s not logical, Jim” voice taking me through the late 1970’s show, In Search Of.

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May the 4th: Getting My Geek On

By Robert Phillips | May 14, 2013 - 6:11 am |September 4, 2013 Movies, Television

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A guy named Kirk from Enterprise Rent-A-Car left a phone message for me a few years back. The message was written on a pre-printed message form, so the first line read, “You received a call from _____ with ______.” The person who took the message filled it in: “You received a call from Kirk with Enterprise.” I called him back quickly and said, “So, you’re Kirk with Enterprise. I guess you’ve heard all the jokes, right?” He responded with a Shatnerian, “I. Don’t. Know. What. You. Mean.” (That’s not true. In real life, he asked, “What jokes?”)

Back in … Read More… →

“The Meanest Mom on the Block” – Misdiagnosis of a Four Year-Old

By Kevin Walsh | May 11, 2013 - 10:22 am |May 13, 2014 Childhood Memories, Family Albums, Nostalgia, Parenting

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You wouldn’t know she would win the award to look at her–the picture of innocence at 22 years. She even took pains to perpetuate the illusion, showering me with exotic presents like wooden mallets and fancy ribbons, my favorite chocolate cake, even my cousins Pat, Sharon and Susie standing by as witnesses on my second birthday.

I can see it so clearly now; I was already on my way out–like the crooked candle on the right. Somewhere out of frame, lurked my upgrade–the 1966 Katie.

And in two years it would be official; the election results would be in. … Read More… →

Scary Driver’s Ed Films & Scarier Dumb-Phoners

By Kevin Walsh | May 8, 2013 - 8:08 am |September 27, 2013 Movies

6 Comments

I loved driver’s ed movies. I was taking the driver’s training summer class in 1980, back when it was offered free to students–in the days before pay-to-play sports, buy-your-own-textbook, and we-can’t-afford-hall-guards. My mom had held me back a year in kindergarten before “young fives” was a term. I think it was just called, “slow-kid.” She caught hell in the neighborhood for traumatizing her child–“He’ll be the oldest one in his class.”

Finally, there was an advantage–I’d be driving before everyone else. ”Kevin, want to go to the movies with us?” I knew and didn’t care that I was being … Read More… →

Kids with Guns.

By Robert Phillips | May 7, 2013 - 6:04 am |May 12, 2018 Legal, News

4 Comments

In my several rewrites of this article, I’ve taken great pains to remove traces of my own emotional reaction to this issue in an effort to present an objective, fair analysis. I hope I’ve succeeded.

The National Rifle Association is a soul-less, sucking black hole of misanthropy and a national disgrace. It’s without a trace of cognitive dissonance that they argue the answer to the problem of gun violence is increased gun sales. Background check for potential gun-purchasers would infringe on our rights and also cost lives, the argument goes.

K-Mart Kharma: Cheapskates Beware!

By Kevin Walsh | May 4, 2013 - 9:53 am |May 8, 2013 Shopping

11 Comments

Why wouldn’t I trust her? We’d known one another for nearly a dozen minutes.

“We’re out of the 39″ RCAs; but these ones have never been returned the whole time I’ve been manager here.”

My son and I had pooled our money, bided our time and were now going to reap the benefits of our savings and patience. The small northern Michigan town of Charlevoix was probably one of the few locations for a K-Mart I would dare enter the day after Thanksgiving.

I figured even if the entire town was in the store at 10am, it still would … Read More… →

DON’T “Reply to All”

By Robert Phillips | April 30, 2013 - 6:21 am |September 27, 2013 Comedy, Internet, Social Media, Stand-Up, Websites

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Comedian Nathan Fielder engineered a prank on Twitter recently. You may have heard of it already. He asked his followers to send this text message to a parent: “Got 40 grams for $40.00.” Then, they were to send this message to the parent right afterwards: “Sorry. Text not for you. LOL.” Fielder asked his followers to submit screen-prints of the parents’ responses. Some of the responses were hysterical, in all-caps. Some were surprisingly laid back. All were pretty funny. Here’s a site where you can read some responses: htttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/25/nathan-fielder-prank-drug-deal-tweet-parent-outrage_n_3157077.html

Card Games, Grandkids and Priorities

By Kevin Walsh | April 28, 2013 - 9:45 pm |September 27, 2013 Camcorder Days, Home Movies

4 Comments

We sat behind a young family in church today–three young kids and two exhausted parents. They had more courage than we ever did at their age, sitting there following the proceedings while two young girls drew and the toddler boy looked over his mother’s shoulder and multi-tasked beautifully–his thumb in his mouth and a finger in each nostril.

The younger girl was dutifully filling out the donation envelopes. In large capitals, over the neatly typed areas for “Name” and “Amount” she wrote, “I AM A CAT.” I was a little disappointed all five didn’t go into the collection basket; … Read More… →

Free Trip to Hollywood this Saturday–Join Talented Young Filmmakers at the Michigan Student Film and Video Festival

By Kevin Walsh | April 24, 2013 - 8:27 am |June 30, 2013 Movies, Non-Profits

1 Comment

You know their work. And they all started right here in Michigan.

If you’ve seen the Star Wars prequel trilogy you’ve seen one–Oscar-Winner, Doug Chiang
If you’ve seen the recent Oz the Great and Powerful you’ve seen one–Aaron Lebovic
One worked on Iron Man 3 this past summer–Kale Davidoff
Two of them wrote and directed the cult zombie/comedy/road-trip/buddy Deadheads that’s been doing great on Netflix right now–Brett and Drew Pierce
One works for the gaming division of a prestigious LA Agency–Blake Rochkind
One of them just sold a screenplay after being selected by Robert Redford to attend his Sundance Writers Workshop–Dan Casey

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Zooey Deschanel is a Dark Skinned Male!

By Robert Phillips | April 23, 2013 - 5:58 am |April 23, 2013 Celebrities, News, Television, Websites

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The Boston mystery has been solved. Police were searching for a “dark skinned male” last week until, after a few days, they identified him: Zooey Deschanel. That’s what you learned if you were getting your news on local channel Fox 4 in Dallas. John King from CNN reported the “dark skinned male” part, citing a government official as the source for his description. And in Dallas, a scrolling line below the Dallas anchors announced that Zooey Deschanel, star of the series “The New Girl,” the films “500 Days of Summer,” “Elf,” and other political diatribes, was the bomber. Most … Read More… →

Don Draper & Tony Soprano: Smoking Alpha-Males at Mid-Life Crisis

By Kevin Walsh | April 18, 2013 - 8:44 am |April 18, 2013 Television

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The pilot episode of Mad Men tracked the 1960 day-in-the-life of the smoking, charming, Don Draper at mid-climb up the slippery advertising ladders of Manhattan. He’s confident, women roll out of bed with him and greasy-haired society boys wish they could be him; what’s not to like? Then, in the episode’s final scene, he pulls into the driveway of his domestic life in the suburbs. And to boot, his wife is a model and his kids are cute.

It’s a great “reveal” that sets the tone for the rest of the double-life that is “draped” from the rest of … Read More… →

Tragedy and Media: Safety in Numbers

By Kevin Walsh | April 17, 2013 - 7:04 am |October 5, 2013 News, Photography, Smartphones, Social Media

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Times Square on New Year’s Eve has always seemed a bit too claustrophobic for me. How can anyone enjoy themselves in such a giant crowd? What’s the attraction? The image of 26,000 runners heading off together seemed similar–like pedestrian rush-hour. I can’t even shop at the mall at Christmas time.

One of the pivotal scenes in Gone with the Wind follows Rhett Butler’s ominous words, “In a town called Gettysburg.” The scene shifts to a giant crowd gathering at the Atlanta railroad station’s telegraph office to get the long casualty lists arriving from Pennsylvania.

We Shalt Not Kill Either!

By Robert Phillips | April 16, 2013 - 5:38 am |April 16, 2013 Art, Legal, News

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As far back as I can remember, I have argued against the death penalty, but so often over the past decade, I found my voice weaker, my stance less certain. The events in Boston yesterday reminded us all of one basic fact that will not be ignored: people suck. We’re not necessarily wrong when we tell ourselves that most people—the overwhelming majority of people–are basically good, even if a few exceptions so often demand our attention. But those exceptions at times open fire on parents carrying infants, putting 5 bullets in an … Read More… →

Arrested Development–Pure Genius

By Sheri H. | April 14, 2013 - 1:01 pm |April 14, 2013 Celebrities, Comedy, Television

1 Comment

Sheri H.

The return of Arrested Development on May 26th should be hailed as a triumph, and as a display of the power of intelligence. To briefly catch you up, the show revolves around the exploits of the rich, incredibly shallow Bluth family. As the opening credits explain, they were a wealthy family that lost everything after the family patriarch is arrested for stealing from the company, and now has no choice but to rely on Michael Bluth, the most stable child in the family, to help bring them all back together. The show featured an insanely talented cast, many of whom gained their fame only after Arrested had ended: Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, David Cross, Portia de Rossi, and on and on.

Perhaps the “F” and “Y” stand for something else…

By Kevin Walsh | April 14, 2013 - 11:50 am |August 30, 2013 Internet, Music, Shopping

11 Comments

I might as well have said, “The crow flies at midnight.”

It felt that cloak-and-dagger.

“Can I help you, sir?” asked the manager.

“Hi. I just want to cancel my membership.”

She frowned, nodded, walked behind the counter, grabbed a coupon and wrote on the back of it, handed it to me and immediately walked away.

I looked in my hand and there it was. The first step on my long journey out of The Stupid Tax.

Financial expert Dave Ramsey has some great stories of how we’ve all made some silly decisions that end up costing us lots and … Read More… →

Lawn Kayaking: Distractions and Default-Settings

By Kevin Walsh | April 13, 2013 - 10:36 am |May 4, 2013 Family Albums, Photography

1 Comment

We were at Aunt Cathy and Uncle Steve’s house in 1999. The kids and their cousins were enjoying a kayak ride through the lawn, courtesy of their Aunt Claudia, who always shared in the unique moments of her nieces and nephews.

We always laugh that the perfect gift for a baby shower would be an abandoned car. Just stick it in the backyard and you’ll never need to assemble that expensive play-structure or worry about broken necks on a trampoline.

Some children’s barbers actually give their victims a giant ball of masking tape and by the time the kid … Read More… →

The Sissy Factor: Pitino’s Duck-and-Cover & NFL in Court

By Kevin Walsh | April 10, 2013 - 8:28 am |September 27, 2013 Legal, Sports, Television

1 Comment

There was an interesting moment during Rick Pitino’s obligatory handshake-walk at the end of Monday’s exciting NCAA championship game. As the pyrotechnics began with a bang, Pitino did what I also did 12 hours away. It was the instinctive “duck and cover” move that probably sent us up a tree a million years ago and kept our species alive long before we developed 30-round magazines for our rifles.

Of course, the next day on talk radio, a significant percentage of calls were comparing Pitino’s Barney Fife to John Beilein’s Dirty Harry-stroll-through-the-chaos.

A Not-Love Letter to New York

By Robert Phillips | April 9, 2013 - 6:00 am |September 27, 2013 Celebrities, Movies, Sports

2 Comments

I grew up near Philadelphia, the birth place of the nation, the 5th largest city in the country, with a vibrant and still growing culinary, arts and theatre culture. But to a typical New Yorker, Philly is still New York’s largest suburb. That attitude led me to jealously dislike the city the way a little brother may dislike a much more successful big brother. Imagine being Don Swayze when your brother Patrick brings up “Dirty Dancing” for the millionth time. Imagine being Fredo when your little brother says, “Who’s the Don again, big brother? You? Uhm, no, that … Read More… →

Tiger Stadium: What Makes a Ballpark

By Kevin Walsh | April 7, 2013 - 11:51 am |April 29, 2015 Family Albums, Photography, Sports, Television

13 Comments