Kid-with-Fish Picture: Leon, Jerry and a Free Ticket

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Kevin Walsh

There’s something very romantic and nostalgic about a kid holding a fish–especially if it’s a first-catch.

There’s that mix of pride, fear and joy that is far different than you find with most any other kid-meets-creature encounter.  Far different than the parent holding a camera shouting: “Nope.  Go back to where you just ran over that worm with your bike.  Get down on your hands and knees and smile!”

It’s nothing like stepping on a spider or worm-steamrolling–both instances are necessary for sanity or unavoidable just after a rainy day…or one of my more vivid bits of cruelty as a child–Ray-of-Death with a magnifying glass and a pedestrian ant.

And I’ve been that parent.  When we’re on the dock and accidentally actually catch something, … Read More… →

“Fabberglasted” – Local Legend of Baseball and Fertilizer, Rod Allen

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Kevin Walsh

MarioRod

I blame Justin Timberlake. Without the Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction with Janet Jackson, there wouldn’t be such a long delay of live television broadcasts–and I could just turn down the set and have the radio playing.

Anyone unfortunate enough to watch a Tiger game beside me knows that I’ve got a collection on my phone’s note-pad.  It’s a three year-old assembly that was created as a little therapy.

The title of the list: “Rod-isms.”

Rod Allen is a former Tiger who batted .333 for the club–for his 15 games.  At an ’84 reunion of the last World Series champions in the Motor City, I was very … Read More… →

Never Seeing No one Nice Again.

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Robert Phillips

me angry I was a kid in man clothes. I was out at an expensive restaurant with a girlfriend and her parents. The night was long, the conversation dull, and I felt like a frat pledge at a debutante’s ball. When we were done, just while I walked out the door, I took off my coat, balled in in my fists and hurled it into the grass…in front of my girlfriend and her parents. (I did say “kid in man clothes.”)  Her parents, in no uncertain (and not particularly polite) terms, explained to me that my maturity level was not impressing them. They were right. … Read More… →

Micro Toy, Big Disappointment

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Kale

I go into FedEx a lot. At every FedEx in the country, they place these really unhealthy snacks at the counter. Namely, those really good-looking but surely-disappointing white chocolate covered pretzels, Flipz, are always sitting at the counter for purchase. They are strategically placed, of course, so that when a busy businessman or woman waiting in line at FedEx sees those bags of Flipz he or she will say to him or herself: “Damn. I am hungry. Those look delicious. Convenient. Unhealthy, sure, but I deserve it! Might as well…” And every time I am in a FedEx, I see those Flipz and I think: “I’m better than those people. I am fighting the urge. I won’t succumb to the man–to the subconscious of business and … Read More… →

Father’s Day Legacy: Jim’s Love of “Now”

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Kevin Walsh

I was doing some vital, long-forgotten yard-work in 1995 when my neighbor Beth yelled across the street, “Happy Father’s Day!”

It took me a minute to realize she was talking to me.  Aidan was already a day or two over-due, so officially the greeting was premature.  But I smiled and realized that she was right.  I was in the club.  And someday, if I did things right, my kids would dread that holiday, as much as I did.  Jim Walsh was impossible to buy for and it didn’t help that his birthday fell on June 28th, so we needed to double our futile efforts as soon as school got out.

I have taxing memories of Saturday odysseys through the sporting goods and office-supply aisles of  … Read More… →

1980’s Court-Jesters During Crisis: Airplane, The Blues Brothers and Caddyshack

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Kevin Walsh

As Kale Davidoff wrote yesterday of true perspective when looking at movies, I was reminded of the recent success of Argo, this year’s Best Picture, as it brought the paralysis of the Iran-Hostage crisis fully back to our collective frontal lobe.  It was the story of a heroic rescue that Jimmy Carter couldn’t use in his re-election bid . Instead, the ill-fated rescue involving the helicopter-crash was also Carter’s.

Argo3a

The real magic of Argo (with its sci-fi movie pitch creating the smokescreen for the rescue) is its absurdity. 

argo-2Read More… →

An Absolutely Unbiased Review of Iron Man 3

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Kale

I think, sometimes, people who review movies review them right after one viewing so they can get their opinion out there as quickly as possible; either to help people decide if they want to go see it, or to be the first one to publish their idea(s) about a new piece of media. That’s cool, I guess. But to formulate a review with depth and criticism, ya gotta let the film sink in a bit. Let it marinate. Think about it for a while. It’s been over a month since “Iron Man 3” was released in theaters, so I’ve had time (and three viewings) to figure out what I thought about the flick. Here it is.

BEWARE: “Iron Man 3” MASSIVE SPOILERS HEREIN (it’s … Read More… →

Paper Route Days & The Creepy Underwear-Man Under the Stairs

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Kevin Walsh

Kids with paper routes didn’t make it past the eighties.  And probably odd guys like The Grouch didn’t help matters…

***

I don’t have high hopes for my first encounter at the Pearly Gates…

“Let’s see…Walsh…Walsh…” as  St. Pete examines his pearl-handled clipboard.  ”You’re not Kevin Walsh, are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Not the one from Clawson?”

“Um…yeah.”

He shakes his head and grabs the lever.  ”You had to go there, didn’t you?”

Knowing exactly what he’s referring to, I feel the floor suddenly give way.

***

photo 1

This evening, at the age of 48, I was a little nervous looking down these stairs, … Read More… →

Fan Wars: Healthy Competition or Justice League Ex-Communication?

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Kale

So it’s almost here. After over thirty years of cinematic irrelevance, the original superhero is less than a week away from climbing back to the top of the cinematic comic world. It’s no doubt that Richard Donner’s 1978 “Superman” is the DNA blueprint to all other superhero movies to come after it. What a great film. I remember watching it as a kid and just loving every minute of it; especially since it was my dad and Jerry Seinfeld’s favorite. The film is seriously great. John Williams’ score, Gene Hackman’s Lex. Christopher Reeve’s was just born to play Superman. Margot Kidder is so late-70’s hot, it’s beyond charming. And you can’t help but tear up every time Pa Kent kicks the bucket. It gets me … Read More… →

Uncle Richie Reaches Home.

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Robert Phillips

smile 5

This past weekend, I flew back to Philly to go to the latest of the three funerals I’ve had to attend over the past few months. My paternal grandmother was the first in the series, having passed last September; a good friend of mine “went home” just before Christmas, an event I wrote about in these pages already (My Fading Accent); and this time, it was the funeral of my Uncle Richie. Frankly, with no disrespect intended, I was not very close to him, although he was a steady presence of my life. I don’t write to cremate Richie or to praise … Read More… →

Arbitrary Arpeggios: Surrendering to “Shuffle”

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Kale

Shuffle is awesome. Just something about that option; that every time we pick up our mp3 players, we lend our mood to musical fate. I don’t even make playlists anymore. I enjoy the spontaneity of the shuffle feature. What’s crazy, is when a song comes on that eerily relates to whatever is going on in your life. This happens in movies A LOT. Cynics and trolls will roll their eyes every time a piece of media playing in the background (radio, film clip, news reel) directly relates to and affects our main character. It happens so often in film and TV. It’s even been perfectly spoofed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone in this scene from “BASEketball”.  [Warning (and no surprise) a bit of vulgarity … Read More… →

Are Fire Hydrants Too Socialist?

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Kevin Walsh

HuffPost_Shared

There were bodies everywhere. I’d never seen anything like it before–especially on a dog-walk…

HydrantPile

It was a dream of mine since I’d first read the <em>How and Why Wonder Book of Dinosaurs</em> to work on a dig. I dreamed of buried treasure–triceratops horns, a mummy (without a curse), a Neanderthal skull or my sister’s bracelet that I buried in the mud under a neighbors’ swing-set. I checked on it periodically for the mud to turn to stone with the … Read More… →

The Roaring Twenties in Detroit: A City in the Black—and Purple

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Laura Kelly

ThinkerPurple

Kevin’s recent illustrated humor post on Detroit’s Museum Yard Sale, about the proposed selling of the city’s more valuable art pieces, reminded me of the last time I visited the Detroit Institute of Arts about 10 years ago (I live in New York so have an excuse for not visiting there more often).

My husband, author Warren Berger, and I were there on a scouting mission. Warren was checking out locations for scenes in his novel THE PURPLES, which chronicles/imagines the rise and fall of the young rumrunner Purple Gang in 1920s Detroit. [Nota bene: The novel started life as a great … Read More… →

Museum Yard Sale? Detroit’s Deficit & Denial

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Kevin Walsh

HuffPost_Shared

MelWoman

 ”How much for the Picasso with the grumpy old lady?”

“$4 million.”

“Would you take two?”

“Umm.  Let me ask my wife.”

The painting reminds me so much of an estate sale my wife and I dropped in on in Bloomfield Hills.  It was a fabulous house with riches galore–all at marked down prices.  The Coach handbags, for example, were only $250 for crying out loud.

And there, in the dining room, in the corner glaring at us vultures, was the … Read More… →

Iago Defeats the Kraken: Game of Thrones and Crimes and Misdemeanors.

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Robert Phillips

how cool would that have been

Spoiler alert. If you have not yet seen Game of Thrones, stop reading this and go watch it. Whatever you’re doing—washing dishes, taking out the trash, googling exes—stop and watch it now. Oh yeah, don’t eat first.

You’re back?  The Starks took some more hits last night. In GOT world, the Starks are “the good guys.”  They’re brave, virtuous, honest, strong.  Contrast them with the Lannister’s—their greatest warrior is known as “kingslayer” for stabbing a former king in the back. The Kingslayer and his sister have a incestuous relationship so potent they can’t keep … Read More… →

The Power of a Well-Placed Smart-Ass: Roger Sterling, Lord Tyrion and the Dowager Countess of Grantham

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Kevin Walsh

Roger_dissheveled

“What’s the definition of a smart-ass?” began one of my dad’s favorite jokes.  

“Someone who could sit on ice cream and tell what flavor it is.”

In 1998, the internet was new in our school and I was doing a demo in class of how cool it was.  We had the projector on and I was discussing how easy it was to find information.

“For example, if you wanted to check out the President’s website, you just had to www.whitehouse.com,” I dictated proudly to my student at the keyboard who typed it in. I could see from their expressions that they also … Read More… →

Uncommon Sense: YouTube Teacher Resignation Reaches Nearly Half-Million in a Week

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Kevin Walsh

commonSense

“No wonder teacher burnout and turnover are at an all-time high.”

Few people turn pages of newspapers.  Fewer people flip their phone apps to the editorial button to read letters to the editor.  And the only thing smaller than the audience for a school board meeting telecast is the audience at an actual school board meeting.

But in just over a week, nearly half a million people have heard why an Illinois teacher has had her heart broken too many times by the new politics of school systems’ reliance upon test scores and disregard for teacher worth.

It’s not slick, … Read More… →

Disney’s Bid for World Domination

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Robert Phillips

  disney A world domination planning session?

Walt Disney had an insidious plot astounding in its evil audacity. It was a plan for world domination so complete, it rivaled the greatest plans of Lex Luther, Ernst Blofeld or even Dr. Evil. Using an ever-expanding cast of animated characters, led by a giant, falsetto mouse, charged by a driving beat devised by a group aptly named They Might be Giants, Disney’s plan was to attack the American populace at its weakest point, its children. Capturing the hearts and souls of these impressionable children was the first and necessary step in ultimately seizing control of the minds, and … Read More… →

So, Just Where is the Elbow Grease?

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Cindy Keleman

    image

As I am a favored guest as my friend’s home, her grandchildren wanted to make sure everything was spit-polished and in order as they eagerly awaited my arrival. The 7 year old, Fiona, was the task master making sure her 5 year old brother, Liam, closely followed her directions as dictated. Fiona,displeased with her brothers efforts and progress at his given task, declared ” you’d better put some elbow grease into this or we will never get done”. Liam, eager to comply, went searching throughout the kitchen opening one cupboard after the other and began to get frustrated. He pleaded for his sister’s … Read More… →

Comic Con Rookie: Stan Lee, The Walking Dead, Lois Lane and “The Last Train to Clarksville”

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Kevin Walsh

photo 5

Somewhere between good dad and voyeur-geek you’ll find me.  The 24th Motor City Comic Con was this weekend at the local expo center and my son was interested.  No big surprise.  The popularity of the new generation The Avengers, The Dark Knight coupled with my generation’s Star Wars fan-base and going back another generation to Star Trek and Dr. Who, there was something for everyone there.  I’d never gone, not really liking crowds or costumed folks sneaking up on me.  But I agreed.

The bigger surprise was that my daughter and her friend wanted to go.  

Two … Read More… →