Bad Ads and Worse Puns for Rick Snyder: Inside the Koch Brothers’ War-Room

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Always a fan of strange ads, I thought I’d deconstruct the possible creation of this beauty–a close second to Rick Snyder’s scuba-diving Super Bowl ad (link).

They can buy anything, anything, anything under the sun.

They can buy anything, anything, anything under the sun.

Needless Disclaimer:  The following transcript could have been secretly recorded in a war-room–detailing the plan for the first wave of ads to re-elect Michigan’s Governor Snyder.  You never know…

Inside Koch Bros. Marketing...

Inside Koch Bros. Marketing…

[Sound of door opening and bowing and scraping.]

Koch 1:  “Okay boys, lay it on me.  Whaddaya got?”

Slappy:  “Pardon sir?”

Koch 2:  “In Michigan, son, in Michigan.”

Slappy 1:  “Oh.  Well we own most of the senate and a lot of house members.”

Slappy 2:  “And we’re taking over most of the public schools and are funneling tax dollars to Pearson Publishing for the cyber-school scam.”

Koch 1:  “No no no.  I mean tell us the big plan for Ricky boy.”

Slappy 1:  “Who?”

Koch 2:  “Snyder.  Rick Snyder!  You know the governor.  The nerd.  The guy we bullied into caving his spineless ol’ self into signing the Right to Work thing.”

Slappy 2:  “Oh him.  Well…”

Koch 1:  “We’ve got a big ad campaign, right?  Millions of bucks heading his way.  We’ve got to keep Michigan and Wisconsin from going back to the dark ages of civil rights and collective bargaining, for crying out loud!”

Slappy 1:  “Well, sir.  We do have an ad that’s ready to run.”

Koch 2:  “Somber music?”

Slappy 2:  “Check.”

Koch 1:  “Vague stats?”

Slappy 1:  “Check.”

Koch 2:  “Old lady?”

Slappy 2:  “Check.”

Koch 1:  “Using the Republican Governor’s Association in the credits, not us?”

Slappy 1:  “Check.”

Koch 1:  “And great title, right?”

Slappy 1:  “Umm…”

Koch 2:  “Come on!  You’ve got to have a great hook!  You’ve got to show them how intelligent you are!”

Koch 1:  “And how dumb the other guys are!”

Slappy 2:  “Well, we did use a pun…”

Koch 2:  “I’m sorry.  For a minute there I thought you said you were using a pun.”

Slappy 1:  “Err…we sort of…”

Koch 2:  “Because puns are terrible.  Puns aren’t used in campaigns.  They’re used in hair solons…”

Koch 1:  “Like Curl Up and Dye or Hair Razors.”

Koch 2:  “So let’s have it.  What’s the title?”

Slappy 1:  “The Schauer is Over.”

[silence]

Pun

Slappy 2:  “Get it, sir.  It’s kind of like the rain shower.  So we’ve got rain in the ad…”

[silence]

Slappy 1:  “And then sun!  Rick Snyder is a ray of sunshine!  Get it?”

[sounds of chairs moving]

Slappy 2:  “Mr. Koch and, um, Mr. Koch.  Where are you going?  Please sir!  The old lady!  She’s smiling at Rick Snyder’s sunshine!”

Slappy 1:  [shouting] “And we didn’t use his voice, like you told us!”

[Door slamming]

Slappy 2:  [muttering] “Or any scuba gear this time…”

 Perhaps the rain in a pothole might have been a more accurate picture.  It will be interesting to see what kind of traction this one has.

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About Kevin Walsh

Kevin began MyMediaDiary.com in 2013 as an experiment that was as simple as "What's a blog?" and ended up becoming a forum for fellow writers. He's been a high school teacher for 28 years and worked as an administrator and instructor in colleges for 6. Contact him at: kevin@mymediadiary.com He is also the producer of the web-series and blog, www.DiggingDetroit, founder and producer for MMD Productions at www.mmdphotovideo.com which offers quick, professional photography, video and multimedia solutions for individuals, organizations and businesses. His high school media production text, "Video Direct," has been used in 40 states--and he occasionally still sells a few. He is the current president of the non-profit DAFT (Digital Arts Film and Television) which sponsors the Michigan Student Film Festival. He lives in Royal Oak, Michigan, is married to Patrice and is tolerated by his two kids Aidan and Abby who have all graciously allowed him to write about them on occasion. Follow Kevin on Twitter @kwteacher

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