Emmy Schools Oscar: 5 More Tips to Make the Academy Awards Less Eternal

A film’s producer was asked about his DP—or “director of photography”—or “cinematographer” in case he’s nominated for anything. “He should be great,” he laughed. “But this is his first non-television gig. He might be too efficient!”

Sunday’s Emmy Awards was a perfect example of the terrible crime of being too efficient. The Oscars are notoriously always late–– a tiresome joke that probably began with “Wings” in 1929. Last February I discussed kicking Oscar out of the bingo hall (link).  Not sure if … Read More…

Attack of the Teenage Snow-Day Zombies: Resuscitating the Watching Dead

We heard its slow steps trudging up from the cellar—one foot was obviously dragging.  I swear we could hear the drool splashing on the floorboards.  It snarled.  It hated the daylight—even cloud-covered sunshine deflected off the snow.  We stood in its way and we were going to pay for it…

“I was in the middle of an episode!” it roared.

You may have seen the snow-day zombies in your own home.  They’re easy to spot.  … Read More…

Thanking Two Men I’d Forgotten to Thank 30 Years Ago: Mr. Denstaedt and Mr. Wentz

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After attending 25 years of high school graduation ceremonies, it finally dawned on me as I sat in my robe and was thanked by grateful students and their parents–I really didn’t deserve such nice seats.

Compared, to the folks who were really responsible for the pomp and circumstance, my hourly contribution was minimal.  Elementary teachers put … Read More…

Iago Defeats the Kraken: Game of Thrones and Crimes and Misdemeanors.

how cool would that have been

Spoiler alert. If you have not yet seen Game of Thrones, stop reading this and go watch it. Whatever you’re doing—washing dishes, taking out the trash, googling exes—stop and watch it now. Oh yeah, don’t eat first.

You’re back?  The Starks took some more hits … Read More…

The Power of a Well-Placed Smart-Ass: Roger Sterling, Lord Tyrion and the Dowager Countess of Grantham

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“What’s the definition of a smart-ass?” began one of my dad’s favorite jokes.  

“Someone who could sit on ice cream and tell what flavor it is.”

In 1998, the internet was new in our school and I was doing a demo in class of how cool it was.  We had the projector on … Read More…